Point 4: Offending or Offended?
In Point 1, we wrote that "he (i.e. a person in the path of Tazkiyah) considered it a big crime to be the cause of any wrong". One of the most damaging "wrong" deeds from a Tazkiyah (purification of soul) perspective is to unjustly cause annoyance or offence to another human being. A person in the path of Tazkiyah seeks peace for his soul but that is impossible until people around him are at peace with him. We read in books about great pious people who travelled long distances or took drastic measures to get to a person whom they thought they may have annoyed or wronged, to ask for his forgiveness; at the end of the endeavour, they would often find out that the concerned person did not feel offended in the first place. There is a narrative reported from the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) that a believer is the one from whose hands and tongue, other people are safe.
This however, has another side to it as well. A person who is interested in Tazkiyah not only makes sure that he does not unjustly annoy or offend any one with his behaviour or statements, but he also finds it against the premise of Tazkiyah to get annoyed or offended by others easily. While such a person tries his best to react appropriately to any unjust behaviour, he also becomes concerned about his own self when he experiences feelings of annoyance or offence. He will spend some time investigating his inner self when that happens, trying to figure out whether his ego or selfishness may have contributed to the feelings of annoyance or offence.
Looking from the above perspective, one may come to understand one of the applications of an advice of wise men that states that every one is happy with a believer while he is unhappy with himself.
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In Point 1, we wrote that "he (i.e. a person in the path of Tazkiyah) considered it a big crime to be the cause of any wrong". One of the most damaging "wrong" deeds from a Tazkiyah (purification of soul) perspective is to unjustly cause annoyance or offence to another human being. A person in the path of Tazkiyah seeks peace for his soul but that is impossible until people around him are at peace with him. We read in books about great pious people who travelled long distances or took drastic measures to get to a person whom they thought they may have annoyed or wronged, to ask for his forgiveness; at the end of the endeavour, they would often find out that the concerned person did not feel offended in the first place. There is a narrative reported from the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) that a believer is the one from whose hands and tongue, other people are safe.
This however, has another side to it as well. A person who is interested in Tazkiyah not only makes sure that he does not unjustly annoy or offend any one with his behaviour or statements, but he also finds it against the premise of Tazkiyah to get annoyed or offended by others easily. While such a person tries his best to react appropriately to any unjust behaviour, he also becomes concerned about his own self when he experiences feelings of annoyance or offence. He will spend some time investigating his inner self when that happens, trying to figure out whether his ego or selfishness may have contributed to the feelings of annoyance or offence.
Looking from the above perspective, one may come to understand one of the applications of an advice of wise men that states that every one is happy with a believer while he is unhappy with himself.
(next Tazkiyah point)
(back to the Tazkiyah points)
