A Letter to a Brother
My dear brother,
You asked me to write you a brief letter to share with you some points about things that we can do, to take the most benefit out of the rest of the month of Ramadhan. You wrote in your letter that the first half of the month had passed so quickly and that you felt that you did not manage to do anything special during the first phase of the month. You were hoping to catch up during the rest of the month and for this you asked for my help.
I should first say that your feeling is not specific to you, many of us have the same feeling. With the busy life of the 21st century, before we know, we find ourselves celebrating the Eid and we ask ourselves, “really, what it is that I am celebrating? Am I celebrating the days of being too weak to do anything special and the nights of feast and chitchat with friends and falling asleep easily? Am I celebrating the moments of becoming upset or angry so easily because of hunger, and periods of sitting somewhere aimlessly due to not being able to eat?”.
I hope this short letter serves as a reminder for both of us so that on the day of the Eid, other than celebrating the opportunity that the Almighty provided us, we can also celebrate using this opportunity.
My dear brother, life is short and only God knows how many more opportunities we have to make ourselves ready to go through our death and to meet our Lord. Is this my last month of Ramadhan? Are there any guarantees that I will see the next one? If I see the next one, knowing myself, are there any guarantees that I might do any better?
This is not about us worrying to go to hell (although that is also a serious point to think about). This is not about us wishing to enjoy paradise (although this should be where we want to be eventually). This is about us, as the servants of the Almighty, seeing that we have not done justice towards our Lord. Appreciating that He is so perfect and we are so imperfect that in this loving relationship, we are always in the position of struggling to be better and He is always in the position of forgiving our shortcomings and demanding us to be better. This is about us, trying to make ourselves deserved for the attention of the one that we love, that is the only one who deserves our absolute love, one that every other love in our life is a reflection of our love for Him.
Here are a few recommendations I have for both of us in a hope that we can end the month while being better in our relationship with our Lord. Note that for us to practice these, we need to make sure that we have a very good discipline and time management during the rest of the month. Where possible, it is best to specify certain time of the day/night for the acts of worshiping that are listed below:
1. Apart from our possible plan to read the whole Qur’an during this month, let us also choose a medium length Sura of the Qur’an for our special attention (for example one of the Suras of the Qur’an in sections 20th to 29th of the Book, whichever attracts our attention.) For the rest of the month we can allocate a particular time of the day or night to read this Sura once. You know brother, the Qur’an has magnificent effects on one’s soul and heart. Repeating a Sura every day while paying attention to its meaning has miraculous effects on our understanding of the religion, of us and our relationship with the Lord. Of course in doing so we can benefit from the commentaries of the Qur’an where appropriate. Listening to a nice recitation of the same Sura and if possible, reciting it with beautiful tone as appropriate is also very effective.
2. Let us spend every night some time to do a long Sajda (prostration) for God. I suggest the minimum length of this long Sajda should be 10 minutes. We can choose to remain silent during the Sajda or we can say a Dhikr like what we say during the Sajda in prayers or one of the Dhikrs that is given in the Qur’an or the authentic Hadith. Don’t get disappointed if you find that your mind flies everywhere during the long Sajda and that you start thinking about anything other than God. Remember this is a practice. A practice that insha’Allah has God’s blessing with it. Just keep doing it at a certain and specific time of the day/night during the rest of the month of Ramadhan. Hopefully you will see the benefit of it as you get used to it.
3. We should try to read at least two Rak’ah prayers every day/night during the rest of this month, in which we will read a rather long proportion of the Qur’an after Fatiha. I suggest half of a Hizb of the Qur’an per Rak’ah as the minimum (in most of the copies of the Qur’an, there are marks for proportions of each Hizb). If you can increase the length of your Ruku (bowing), standing after Ruku, Sajda (prostration) and sitting in between the two Sajda in this prayer, then it will be very beneficial. You may do this as part of your Tahajjud prayer.
4. Names of God have been given to us in the Qur’an and Hadith for a reason. Calling God by His names, repeating His names while appreciating their meaning and asking Him by His names have tremendous effect in building our relationship with the Almighty. I am not talking about chanting His names like Sufies. I am talking about calling His names while paying attention to their meanings and their implications for us and to ask Him by His names. We can spend some time every day/night for this. Again, it is better to do this for a good amount of time so that we can feel its effect on us, in other words, it should be more than a couple of minutes!
5. People have many ways of entertaining themselves and most of these are perfectly legitimate and permissible within reason. Many spend their time chitchatting, watching movies, listening to music, going to friends’ gatherings, etc. While these can all be healthy ways of spending our spare time, for the rest of this month we can try to reduce or remove these entertaining activities from our schedule. The point is not to necessarily replace them with worshiping and other religious activities (although this will be perfect). The point is to avoid any possibility of unknowingly polluting our heart with things that, while being permissible, might become an obstacle in improving our spirituality during the rest of the month.
6. Brother, we need to try to make our eyes wet! One of the features of those who attain high levels of God awareness is that their eyes are not dry. Tears of hope, fear and love come from their eyes when the occasion calls for it. In our private moments with God and away from the observation of others, we can try to connect our eyes with our heart while connecting our heart with God. The joy of shedding tears for the sake of God where no one else can see us is one of the sweats of worshiping the Almighty.
7. We need to be aware of the value of the last ten nights of the month of Ramadhan. A runner of a long distance completion puts his maximum energy for the last few meters of the running contest. The last ten days/night of the month of Ramadhan are these last few meters of our contest towards higher Taqwa (God awareness). During these days and nights we need to double our efforts and as much as possible make ourselves free from any means of interruption. We need to have the attitude of a seeker during these last days/nights, just like one who knows there is a precious stone around him and it will be his if he look for it carefully. We know that according to the Hadith of the Prophet (pbuh), the night of Qadr (Destiny) will be one of the odd nights of these last ten nights of the month of Ramadhan. We need to make our heart good enough to deserve that night, otherwise going through it with a weak heart does not benefit us much.
8. We need to be aware of the very important fact that helping and serving the world with pure intentions, is like a short cut in our way to become a better servant of the Almighty. If you find an opportunity to serve and help our respected parents, or our relatives or your neighbours, or any other human being, and even animals and the environment, do not let it go. Do it as if you are worshiping God. In fact, it will be worshiping God if you do it with right intentions. We need to make sure that we have the correct balance in this. Spending all the time praying and reading the Qur’an without paying any attentions to opportunities to help others is off balance. Just as it will be off balance if we think that merely serving others can fulfil our vital need for spending time in private, worshiping our Creator.
9. Brother, if we commit a sin during the rest of this month, while doing some of the above, it is like trying to fill a jar that has a hole in it. To avoid committing any sins, we need to make sure that we do not even get to the proximity of the sin. Let us remember that broadly speaking there are two kinds of sins: One that is between us and God, and one that is in relationship with others. We need to be aware of both.
10. All the above points need to be seen as part of a system of improving ourselves. This system needs to be focused on eliminating some weaknesses from ourselves and shining our heart by removing some of the stains that appears on it as the result of our routine daily life. We need to be in the state of Taubah (Repent) during the rest of the month and waiting for the moment when we feel that our heart is ready for a true Taubah. This is the moment that we find ourselves very emotional in our thoughts about the Almighty and very determined to change. As soon as this feelings and this state of mind occurs we should take the full benefit of it. Jump up, make a Wuzoo (ablution), read two Rak’ah (units of) prayers and do Istiqfaar (asking for forgiveness) to the Almighty and decide to become a better person from that point on. We however need to be very specific in what we mean by becoming a better person. Being in the company of spiritually advanced people, or listening to them or reading their writings can facilitate reaching the above moment of truth.
Brother, in doing the above we need to be aware that if we do anything good, that comes from God Himself. We need to appreciate that long prostrations, lengthy prayers, beautiful recitations of the Qur’an, crying while worshipping, none of these are criteria of being a good servant for the Almighty. All of these are tools. If we use them appropriately with the blessing of God we might become a better servant of God. However we should not forget that there are many who have done much better than us in these types of worshiping God. Moreover, there are many who might not do any of these extra worshiping but due to their innocent heart and honest efforts in life might be in a much higher position than us in the Eyes of the Almighty.
Always remember this poem of the Persian poet, Sa’di:
“Saidi, who do you think you are? In the trap of the beloved, so many have been fallen that you are but a tiny little prey”.
Take care of yourself, our mother and father, and keep praying for your brother!
With love.
Farhad
You asked me to write you a brief letter to share with you some points about things that we can do, to take the most benefit out of the rest of the month of Ramadhan. You wrote in your letter that the first half of the month had passed so quickly and that you felt that you did not manage to do anything special during the first phase of the month. You were hoping to catch up during the rest of the month and for this you asked for my help.
I should first say that your feeling is not specific to you, many of us have the same feeling. With the busy life of the 21st century, before we know, we find ourselves celebrating the Eid and we ask ourselves, “really, what it is that I am celebrating? Am I celebrating the days of being too weak to do anything special and the nights of feast and chitchat with friends and falling asleep easily? Am I celebrating the moments of becoming upset or angry so easily because of hunger, and periods of sitting somewhere aimlessly due to not being able to eat?”.
I hope this short letter serves as a reminder for both of us so that on the day of the Eid, other than celebrating the opportunity that the Almighty provided us, we can also celebrate using this opportunity.
My dear brother, life is short and only God knows how many more opportunities we have to make ourselves ready to go through our death and to meet our Lord. Is this my last month of Ramadhan? Are there any guarantees that I will see the next one? If I see the next one, knowing myself, are there any guarantees that I might do any better?
This is not about us worrying to go to hell (although that is also a serious point to think about). This is not about us wishing to enjoy paradise (although this should be where we want to be eventually). This is about us, as the servants of the Almighty, seeing that we have not done justice towards our Lord. Appreciating that He is so perfect and we are so imperfect that in this loving relationship, we are always in the position of struggling to be better and He is always in the position of forgiving our shortcomings and demanding us to be better. This is about us, trying to make ourselves deserved for the attention of the one that we love, that is the only one who deserves our absolute love, one that every other love in our life is a reflection of our love for Him.
Here are a few recommendations I have for both of us in a hope that we can end the month while being better in our relationship with our Lord. Note that for us to practice these, we need to make sure that we have a very good discipline and time management during the rest of the month. Where possible, it is best to specify certain time of the day/night for the acts of worshiping that are listed below:
1. Apart from our possible plan to read the whole Qur’an during this month, let us also choose a medium length Sura of the Qur’an for our special attention (for example one of the Suras of the Qur’an in sections 20th to 29th of the Book, whichever attracts our attention.) For the rest of the month we can allocate a particular time of the day or night to read this Sura once. You know brother, the Qur’an has magnificent effects on one’s soul and heart. Repeating a Sura every day while paying attention to its meaning has miraculous effects on our understanding of the religion, of us and our relationship with the Lord. Of course in doing so we can benefit from the commentaries of the Qur’an where appropriate. Listening to a nice recitation of the same Sura and if possible, reciting it with beautiful tone as appropriate is also very effective.
2. Let us spend every night some time to do a long Sajda (prostration) for God. I suggest the minimum length of this long Sajda should be 10 minutes. We can choose to remain silent during the Sajda or we can say a Dhikr like what we say during the Sajda in prayers or one of the Dhikrs that is given in the Qur’an or the authentic Hadith. Don’t get disappointed if you find that your mind flies everywhere during the long Sajda and that you start thinking about anything other than God. Remember this is a practice. A practice that insha’Allah has God’s blessing with it. Just keep doing it at a certain and specific time of the day/night during the rest of the month of Ramadhan. Hopefully you will see the benefit of it as you get used to it.
3. We should try to read at least two Rak’ah prayers every day/night during the rest of this month, in which we will read a rather long proportion of the Qur’an after Fatiha. I suggest half of a Hizb of the Qur’an per Rak’ah as the minimum (in most of the copies of the Qur’an, there are marks for proportions of each Hizb). If you can increase the length of your Ruku (bowing), standing after Ruku, Sajda (prostration) and sitting in between the two Sajda in this prayer, then it will be very beneficial. You may do this as part of your Tahajjud prayer.
4. Names of God have been given to us in the Qur’an and Hadith for a reason. Calling God by His names, repeating His names while appreciating their meaning and asking Him by His names have tremendous effect in building our relationship with the Almighty. I am not talking about chanting His names like Sufies. I am talking about calling His names while paying attention to their meanings and their implications for us and to ask Him by His names. We can spend some time every day/night for this. Again, it is better to do this for a good amount of time so that we can feel its effect on us, in other words, it should be more than a couple of minutes!
5. People have many ways of entertaining themselves and most of these are perfectly legitimate and permissible within reason. Many spend their time chitchatting, watching movies, listening to music, going to friends’ gatherings, etc. While these can all be healthy ways of spending our spare time, for the rest of this month we can try to reduce or remove these entertaining activities from our schedule. The point is not to necessarily replace them with worshiping and other religious activities (although this will be perfect). The point is to avoid any possibility of unknowingly polluting our heart with things that, while being permissible, might become an obstacle in improving our spirituality during the rest of the month.
6. Brother, we need to try to make our eyes wet! One of the features of those who attain high levels of God awareness is that their eyes are not dry. Tears of hope, fear and love come from their eyes when the occasion calls for it. In our private moments with God and away from the observation of others, we can try to connect our eyes with our heart while connecting our heart with God. The joy of shedding tears for the sake of God where no one else can see us is one of the sweats of worshiping the Almighty.
7. We need to be aware of the value of the last ten nights of the month of Ramadhan. A runner of a long distance completion puts his maximum energy for the last few meters of the running contest. The last ten days/night of the month of Ramadhan are these last few meters of our contest towards higher Taqwa (God awareness). During these days and nights we need to double our efforts and as much as possible make ourselves free from any means of interruption. We need to have the attitude of a seeker during these last days/nights, just like one who knows there is a precious stone around him and it will be his if he look for it carefully. We know that according to the Hadith of the Prophet (pbuh), the night of Qadr (Destiny) will be one of the odd nights of these last ten nights of the month of Ramadhan. We need to make our heart good enough to deserve that night, otherwise going through it with a weak heart does not benefit us much.
8. We need to be aware of the very important fact that helping and serving the world with pure intentions, is like a short cut in our way to become a better servant of the Almighty. If you find an opportunity to serve and help our respected parents, or our relatives or your neighbours, or any other human being, and even animals and the environment, do not let it go. Do it as if you are worshiping God. In fact, it will be worshiping God if you do it with right intentions. We need to make sure that we have the correct balance in this. Spending all the time praying and reading the Qur’an without paying any attentions to opportunities to help others is off balance. Just as it will be off balance if we think that merely serving others can fulfil our vital need for spending time in private, worshiping our Creator.
9. Brother, if we commit a sin during the rest of this month, while doing some of the above, it is like trying to fill a jar that has a hole in it. To avoid committing any sins, we need to make sure that we do not even get to the proximity of the sin. Let us remember that broadly speaking there are two kinds of sins: One that is between us and God, and one that is in relationship with others. We need to be aware of both.
10. All the above points need to be seen as part of a system of improving ourselves. This system needs to be focused on eliminating some weaknesses from ourselves and shining our heart by removing some of the stains that appears on it as the result of our routine daily life. We need to be in the state of Taubah (Repent) during the rest of the month and waiting for the moment when we feel that our heart is ready for a true Taubah. This is the moment that we find ourselves very emotional in our thoughts about the Almighty and very determined to change. As soon as this feelings and this state of mind occurs we should take the full benefit of it. Jump up, make a Wuzoo (ablution), read two Rak’ah (units of) prayers and do Istiqfaar (asking for forgiveness) to the Almighty and decide to become a better person from that point on. We however need to be very specific in what we mean by becoming a better person. Being in the company of spiritually advanced people, or listening to them or reading their writings can facilitate reaching the above moment of truth.
Brother, in doing the above we need to be aware that if we do anything good, that comes from God Himself. We need to appreciate that long prostrations, lengthy prayers, beautiful recitations of the Qur’an, crying while worshipping, none of these are criteria of being a good servant for the Almighty. All of these are tools. If we use them appropriately with the blessing of God we might become a better servant of God. However we should not forget that there are many who have done much better than us in these types of worshiping God. Moreover, there are many who might not do any of these extra worshiping but due to their innocent heart and honest efforts in life might be in a much higher position than us in the Eyes of the Almighty.
Always remember this poem of the Persian poet, Sa’di:
“Saidi, who do you think you are? In the trap of the beloved, so many have been fallen that you are but a tiny little prey”.
Take care of yourself, our mother and father, and keep praying for your brother!
With love.
Farhad
