Boasting a sin
Question:
Recently I was in a relationship and we have crossed the line a few times. We both felt very guilty and put rules so this does not happen again. After this he asked me not to mention this to anyone but i did mention this to 3 of my close friends and asked them to keep it a secret. We have broken up and not on speaking terms and my questions are the following:
1. I have read a hadith somewhere that anyone who has boasted a sin might not be forgiven by Allah. (Which scares me very much. I didn't know that at the time and i regret this very much.) Is this true?
2. I have also read that i must ask the forgiveness of the person i have backbitten. I, however, am not on speaking terms with the boy at the moment & feel if i tell him it will do more damage then good. He will only get upset and i will feel very bad. Am i required to ask for his forgiveness in this or do I just ask for Allah to forgive me?
Answer:
1. The hadith you are referring to is known as the hadith of mujahirun. It is as follows:
كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافًى إِلَّا المُجَاهِرِينَ، وَإِنَّ مِنَ المُجَاهَرَةِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الرَّجُلُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلًا، ثُمَّ يُصْبِحَ وَقَدْ سَتَرَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ، فَيَقُولَ: يَا فُلاَنُ، عَمِلْتُ البَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ، وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ
All of my ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly. Part of committing sin openly is when a man does something at night and God conceals it, but in the morning he says, ‘O So-and-so, last night I did such and such.’ His Lord had covered his sin all night, but in the morning he removed the cover of God.
(Bukhari, 6069)
Although the hadith is narrated in both Bukhari and Muslim, this should not stop us from studying its reliability. However since such technical level of analysis may not be of your interest, I will skip this part.
If the meaning that you mentioned (i.e. one who talks about the sin that one has committed will not be forgiven) is what actually the hadith implies, then it will be against the promise of the Almighty that true repenting will be forgiven. I do not think that the hadith has the implication that you are suggesting. The hadith seems to be referring to those who proudly or carelessly talk about their sins. If a person is really sorry about his sins and has truly repented, then he would not talk about them proudly or carelessly. This can be a sign that the person is not really sorry about his sins which then means his sins are not forgiven.
This is clearly not the case with you. Therefore you do not need to worry as long as you have truly repented. It is however advisable not to talk about this with any one in future.
2. As for the fact that you have narrated the story to some friends. Of course you shouldn’t have done that, not only because you agreed with that boy not to do so, but also because it is not really wise to do so.
Having said that, I do understand and appreciate what you say about complications that may occur if you let the boy know that you have informed others about this. I therefore suggest you keep it to yourself and also do not talk about this with anyone else. Ask the Almighty for forgiveness for yourself and him.
God is much more forgiving than what we can imagine, as long as we do not change a mistake to a major sin by our arrogance.
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October 2016
Recently I was in a relationship and we have crossed the line a few times. We both felt very guilty and put rules so this does not happen again. After this he asked me not to mention this to anyone but i did mention this to 3 of my close friends and asked them to keep it a secret. We have broken up and not on speaking terms and my questions are the following:
1. I have read a hadith somewhere that anyone who has boasted a sin might not be forgiven by Allah. (Which scares me very much. I didn't know that at the time and i regret this very much.) Is this true?
2. I have also read that i must ask the forgiveness of the person i have backbitten. I, however, am not on speaking terms with the boy at the moment & feel if i tell him it will do more damage then good. He will only get upset and i will feel very bad. Am i required to ask for his forgiveness in this or do I just ask for Allah to forgive me?
Answer:
1. The hadith you are referring to is known as the hadith of mujahirun. It is as follows:
كُلُّ أُمَّتِي مُعَافًى إِلَّا المُجَاهِرِينَ، وَإِنَّ مِنَ المُجَاهَرَةِ أَنْ يَعْمَلَ الرَّجُلُ بِاللَّيْلِ عَمَلًا، ثُمَّ يُصْبِحَ وَقَدْ سَتَرَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ، فَيَقُولَ: يَا فُلاَنُ، عَمِلْتُ البَارِحَةَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، وَقَدْ بَاتَ يَسْتُرُهُ رَبُّهُ، وَيُصْبِحُ يَكْشِفُ سِتْرَ اللَّهِ عَنْهُ
All of my ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly. Part of committing sin openly is when a man does something at night and God conceals it, but in the morning he says, ‘O So-and-so, last night I did such and such.’ His Lord had covered his sin all night, but in the morning he removed the cover of God.
(Bukhari, 6069)
Although the hadith is narrated in both Bukhari and Muslim, this should not stop us from studying its reliability. However since such technical level of analysis may not be of your interest, I will skip this part.
If the meaning that you mentioned (i.e. one who talks about the sin that one has committed will not be forgiven) is what actually the hadith implies, then it will be against the promise of the Almighty that true repenting will be forgiven. I do not think that the hadith has the implication that you are suggesting. The hadith seems to be referring to those who proudly or carelessly talk about their sins. If a person is really sorry about his sins and has truly repented, then he would not talk about them proudly or carelessly. This can be a sign that the person is not really sorry about his sins which then means his sins are not forgiven.
This is clearly not the case with you. Therefore you do not need to worry as long as you have truly repented. It is however advisable not to talk about this with any one in future.
2. As for the fact that you have narrated the story to some friends. Of course you shouldn’t have done that, not only because you agreed with that boy not to do so, but also because it is not really wise to do so.
Having said that, I do understand and appreciate what you say about complications that may occur if you let the boy know that you have informed others about this. I therefore suggest you keep it to yourself and also do not talk about this with anyone else. Ask the Almighty for forgiveness for yourself and him.
God is much more forgiving than what we can imagine, as long as we do not change a mistake to a major sin by our arrogance.
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October 2016
