Complications with three divorce
Question:
Hello there
My husband and I was going through a really bad patch and fighting through text message and he text back saying I divorce you 3 times he was very angry as I was really angry. The insults were terrible. Then when he was calm he came to get me. I will add that if there was no fight then he would never have said this to me. Some say this counts as 3 some say one and some say because he was very angry and felt that saying divorce was the only way out of the stress and anger it doesn't count at all. I want to know were we stand as I do not want to live in Zina.
Also this divorce took place when I was during my menses.
Thanks you in advance for your help.
Answer:
Hello and Salam,
There are a few points that I need to explain before directly answering your question:
1. (referring to your second message about divorce during menses:) This is an issue on which there is no agreement among scholars. The majority are of the view that while divorcing during menses is against the law of the Almighty, it still is valid. A very few scholars (like Ibn Taymiyah) are of the view that it is not valid. I agree with the majority on this.
2. If your husband announced divorce just to express his anger, then this does not count as divorce. However if he really meant it and intended to divorce you although out of anger, then it does count as divorce. So he needs to consider in what state he did that.
3. Assuming in terms of point 2 the answer is that the intention of divorce was there, then the issue of announcing three divorce needs to be considered. Again for this too it needs to be established whether this was done with full intention or just to express anger. If three divorces were not the intention then, assuming that the divorce itself was intended, only one divorce has taken place.
4. If the three divorce was in deed intended, then this (i.e. pronouncing at once) is against the shari'ah. There is again differences of views on whether intended three divorce at once is counted as three or one divorce. I agree with those scholars who consider this to be one divorce.
5. Since marriage and divorce is in the social sphere of affairs, the state has every right to decide about the ruling when the shari'ah is notexplicit on an issue.
With the above in mind, this is what I think you need to do:
a. establish if your husband really had the intention of divorce. If his answer is No, then you are married and no further steps are required.
b. If the answer is Yes, then establish whether by pronouncing three divorce he really meant it or if he just wanted to express his anger. Again if the answer is No (he didn't mean it), then he can simply return to you during the time of your iddah, or he can remarry you after the iddah, when the divorce has been in effect.
c. If the intention for three divorce was also there then it depends what the law and the norm in your country is. If it is expected that all matters like this should be taken to the court, then that is what you need to do. On the other hand if it is acceptable that matters like this can be resolved by consulting a scholar, then you can do that instead of going to the court. If you consider me as a scholar who you can trust, then as I wrote above, in my view even with intention of three divorce, only one divorce has been taken place.
Both you and your husband should know that the matter of shari'ah is a divine matter. It is not a matter to be used as a tool to use in arguments and fights.
Hope this is clear.
--------
October 2016
Hello there
My husband and I was going through a really bad patch and fighting through text message and he text back saying I divorce you 3 times he was very angry as I was really angry. The insults were terrible. Then when he was calm he came to get me. I will add that if there was no fight then he would never have said this to me. Some say this counts as 3 some say one and some say because he was very angry and felt that saying divorce was the only way out of the stress and anger it doesn't count at all. I want to know were we stand as I do not want to live in Zina.
Also this divorce took place when I was during my menses.
Thanks you in advance for your help.
Answer:
Hello and Salam,
There are a few points that I need to explain before directly answering your question:
1. (referring to your second message about divorce during menses:) This is an issue on which there is no agreement among scholars. The majority are of the view that while divorcing during menses is against the law of the Almighty, it still is valid. A very few scholars (like Ibn Taymiyah) are of the view that it is not valid. I agree with the majority on this.
2. If your husband announced divorce just to express his anger, then this does not count as divorce. However if he really meant it and intended to divorce you although out of anger, then it does count as divorce. So he needs to consider in what state he did that.
3. Assuming in terms of point 2 the answer is that the intention of divorce was there, then the issue of announcing three divorce needs to be considered. Again for this too it needs to be established whether this was done with full intention or just to express anger. If three divorces were not the intention then, assuming that the divorce itself was intended, only one divorce has taken place.
4. If the three divorce was in deed intended, then this (i.e. pronouncing at once) is against the shari'ah. There is again differences of views on whether intended three divorce at once is counted as three or one divorce. I agree with those scholars who consider this to be one divorce.
5. Since marriage and divorce is in the social sphere of affairs, the state has every right to decide about the ruling when the shari'ah is notexplicit on an issue.
With the above in mind, this is what I think you need to do:
a. establish if your husband really had the intention of divorce. If his answer is No, then you are married and no further steps are required.
b. If the answer is Yes, then establish whether by pronouncing three divorce he really meant it or if he just wanted to express his anger. Again if the answer is No (he didn't mean it), then he can simply return to you during the time of your iddah, or he can remarry you after the iddah, when the divorce has been in effect.
c. If the intention for three divorce was also there then it depends what the law and the norm in your country is. If it is expected that all matters like this should be taken to the court, then that is what you need to do. On the other hand if it is acceptable that matters like this can be resolved by consulting a scholar, then you can do that instead of going to the court. If you consider me as a scholar who you can trust, then as I wrote above, in my view even with intention of three divorce, only one divorce has been taken place.
Both you and your husband should know that the matter of shari'ah is a divine matter. It is not a matter to be used as a tool to use in arguments and fights.
Hope this is clear.
--------
October 2016
