Preaching Others
Question:
Assalamualaikm brother,
At work during lunch a discussion started where all brothers sat at the table were talking about a shopkeeper in the neighbourhood who sold alcohol as well as groceries. They all felt obliged to pay the muslim shopkeeper a visit to remind him in what he was doing (selling Alcohol) was "haram".
I felt isolated and being the only one of the opinion that we shouldn't do so. I argued that the shopkeeper who reads Juma prayer with is of good character as far as I know him and serves free drinks to us at Juma shows he has a good heart. And the matter of selling alcohol is something he must be aware of being "wrong" and perhaps he hasn't found an alternative business yet to earn him a living for his family.
My question is: Practicing "amar bil ma'roof and nahi an il munkar" may suggest they were right in their approach, whereas my opinion may lead to contrary position and allows wrong to flourish. What would be your approach.
Thanks
Answer:
Assalamu Alaykum,
First, we need to understand that Amr bi Maruf and Nahi An al-Mukar (advising to good and to advising against bad), as it is obvious from its literal meaning covers those aspects of human values that are generally known by human being to be good or bad. Examples are: Helping others (good), lying (bad).
I would not categorize selling alcohol among the things that are generally known by human beings as a bad thing. Therefore if any one feels that he is obliged to say something to the shop keeper, this obligation cannot be attributed to Amr bi Maruf and Nahi An al-Mukar.
However there is another duty that every human being has, and that is to advice each other to the truth (Tawasau bi al-Haqq). We know that the reason alcohol is made Haram is due to its harmful effect on human beings and the whole society. Therefore just as a good person does not want to contribute in damaging a society by selling drugs to people, he should also not contribute in damaging society by selling alcohol to people.
So the 'truth' here would be the fact that selling alcohol is like contributing in every damage that the society is suffering from due to alcohol.
The above is the principle.
When it comes to the application, two things need to be considered:
1. Whether the person has any choices.
If we know that the person who is doing something wrong really does not have any choices then there is no point in advising him, which can only cause him embarrassment and perhaps the feeling that he needs to stay in isolation from those who advised him.
2. In case the person does have a choice, then deciding what the best way of advising him to the truth is.
I am of course not fully aware of the situation and the personality of parties involved. However in general, in situations like this normally approaching the person (in a group) and directly advising him not to do that is not the best possible way, in particular if those who offer advice are not among the relatives or the close friends or associates of the person. This often creates a bad feeling and anger in the person as every one likes to keep his dignity, respect and privacy.
One way that may work well in situations like this is indirect advice. You wrote that the shop keeper comes to the Friday prayer. One way is to ask the Imam to devote one of his sermons to the issue of alcohol and dealing with alcohol (without even telling him that who in your mind is the target of this sermon). You wrote that the shopkeeper had a good character. I think if he hears a good speech from the Imam about this, without being directly addressed, then if he has a choice he will do something about it.
Another way is a direct advice but by some one who the shopkeeper respects and is closed to. In fact the primary target of every person in advising others to the truth has to be his nearest ones. One of the reasons for this is that often receiving advice from near ones is more effective than receiving it from strangers. In any case, such advice should not be in a condemning style. Rather it has to be in a questioning style, basically trying to understand why the shopkeeper sales alcohol, exploring whether he has any choices, and helping him to think how he can stop this (where possible).
These are of course only two ways of offering advice in a wise way. Being in the situation yourself I am sure you can come up with other good ways of doing this.
So to summarize, in answering your question that what my approach would be, I would first consider whether the shopkeeper has a choice or not. If I find that he can easily stop selling alcohol without losing his business I will then find an appropriate way to bring this to his attention. This appropriate way most probably will be an indirect advice or an advice from some one who the shopkeeper relates to, respects and looks up to.
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May 2013
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Assalamualaikm brother,
At work during lunch a discussion started where all brothers sat at the table were talking about a shopkeeper in the neighbourhood who sold alcohol as well as groceries. They all felt obliged to pay the muslim shopkeeper a visit to remind him in what he was doing (selling Alcohol) was "haram".
I felt isolated and being the only one of the opinion that we shouldn't do so. I argued that the shopkeeper who reads Juma prayer with is of good character as far as I know him and serves free drinks to us at Juma shows he has a good heart. And the matter of selling alcohol is something he must be aware of being "wrong" and perhaps he hasn't found an alternative business yet to earn him a living for his family.
My question is: Practicing "amar bil ma'roof and nahi an il munkar" may suggest they were right in their approach, whereas my opinion may lead to contrary position and allows wrong to flourish. What would be your approach.
Thanks
Answer:
Assalamu Alaykum,
First, we need to understand that Amr bi Maruf and Nahi An al-Mukar (advising to good and to advising against bad), as it is obvious from its literal meaning covers those aspects of human values that are generally known by human being to be good or bad. Examples are: Helping others (good), lying (bad).
I would not categorize selling alcohol among the things that are generally known by human beings as a bad thing. Therefore if any one feels that he is obliged to say something to the shop keeper, this obligation cannot be attributed to Amr bi Maruf and Nahi An al-Mukar.
However there is another duty that every human being has, and that is to advice each other to the truth (Tawasau bi al-Haqq). We know that the reason alcohol is made Haram is due to its harmful effect on human beings and the whole society. Therefore just as a good person does not want to contribute in damaging a society by selling drugs to people, he should also not contribute in damaging society by selling alcohol to people.
So the 'truth' here would be the fact that selling alcohol is like contributing in every damage that the society is suffering from due to alcohol.
The above is the principle.
When it comes to the application, two things need to be considered:
1. Whether the person has any choices.
If we know that the person who is doing something wrong really does not have any choices then there is no point in advising him, which can only cause him embarrassment and perhaps the feeling that he needs to stay in isolation from those who advised him.
2. In case the person does have a choice, then deciding what the best way of advising him to the truth is.
I am of course not fully aware of the situation and the personality of parties involved. However in general, in situations like this normally approaching the person (in a group) and directly advising him not to do that is not the best possible way, in particular if those who offer advice are not among the relatives or the close friends or associates of the person. This often creates a bad feeling and anger in the person as every one likes to keep his dignity, respect and privacy.
One way that may work well in situations like this is indirect advice. You wrote that the shop keeper comes to the Friday prayer. One way is to ask the Imam to devote one of his sermons to the issue of alcohol and dealing with alcohol (without even telling him that who in your mind is the target of this sermon). You wrote that the shopkeeper had a good character. I think if he hears a good speech from the Imam about this, without being directly addressed, then if he has a choice he will do something about it.
Another way is a direct advice but by some one who the shopkeeper respects and is closed to. In fact the primary target of every person in advising others to the truth has to be his nearest ones. One of the reasons for this is that often receiving advice from near ones is more effective than receiving it from strangers. In any case, such advice should not be in a condemning style. Rather it has to be in a questioning style, basically trying to understand why the shopkeeper sales alcohol, exploring whether he has any choices, and helping him to think how he can stop this (where possible).
These are of course only two ways of offering advice in a wise way. Being in the situation yourself I am sure you can come up with other good ways of doing this.
So to summarize, in answering your question that what my approach would be, I would first consider whether the shopkeeper has a choice or not. If I find that he can easily stop selling alcohol without losing his business I will then find an appropriate way to bring this to his attention. This appropriate way most probably will be an indirect advice or an advice from some one who the shopkeeper relates to, respects and looks up to.
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May 2013
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