Listening to Parents or Breaking Kinship
Question:
Parents are saying/telling not to go see my brother anymore to cut off ties with him due to certain events but he wants to still keep in contact it says be dutiful to parents and listen to them, but also not to break kinship so do i listen to my parents or still see my brother.
please advise on what it says in the Qur'an/Islam jazak Allah khair
Answer:
In answering a relevant question I wrote:
"People often misinterpret the advice of the Qur’an about parents. What the Qur’an advises us is to be kind to parents, to speak respectfully to them and to be humble in front of them (2:83, 17:23, 24). This however does not mean that we should remain silent when we see a fault or an injustice from our parents. The general meaning of Amr bi Ma’ruf and Nahy an Munkar (advising to do good and to avoid evil deeds) does not exclude parents. Of course this advice should be given in the best possible way and the kindest manner when it comes to parents."
Of course obeying parents too can be an example of being kind to them, however the Qur'an has not instructed us to obey our parents, so obeying per se is not the criteria here. When obeying parents means doing something wrong (either religiously or rationally) then we are not obliged to obey them. Of course we still need to remain most respectful and kind towards them.
My suggestion is that you very respectfully and in an appropriate way remind your parents about their and your duties towards the kinship and the importance that the Qur'an gives to kinship (e.g. 4:1, 47:22). In the event that they do not agree with your advice, then with utmost wisdom and care, you can do what is necessary to keep your due relationship with your brother intact.
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June 2013
Parents are saying/telling not to go see my brother anymore to cut off ties with him due to certain events but he wants to still keep in contact it says be dutiful to parents and listen to them, but also not to break kinship so do i listen to my parents or still see my brother.
please advise on what it says in the Qur'an/Islam jazak Allah khair
Answer:
In answering a relevant question I wrote:
"People often misinterpret the advice of the Qur’an about parents. What the Qur’an advises us is to be kind to parents, to speak respectfully to them and to be humble in front of them (2:83, 17:23, 24). This however does not mean that we should remain silent when we see a fault or an injustice from our parents. The general meaning of Amr bi Ma’ruf and Nahy an Munkar (advising to do good and to avoid evil deeds) does not exclude parents. Of course this advice should be given in the best possible way and the kindest manner when it comes to parents."
Of course obeying parents too can be an example of being kind to them, however the Qur'an has not instructed us to obey our parents, so obeying per se is not the criteria here. When obeying parents means doing something wrong (either religiously or rationally) then we are not obliged to obey them. Of course we still need to remain most respectful and kind towards them.
My suggestion is that you very respectfully and in an appropriate way remind your parents about their and your duties towards the kinship and the importance that the Qur'an gives to kinship (e.g. 4:1, 47:22). In the event that they do not agree with your advice, then with utmost wisdom and care, you can do what is necessary to keep your due relationship with your brother intact.
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June 2013
